In Which 75% of My Kids Repeatedly Drop The F-Bomb

So...

Yesterday I was pulling lunch out of the fridge when Charlotte came into the kitchen. 

"Mom, Ethan said f%#@ is a bad word." (Insert incredulous snort here, after all, its such a weird, funny word, out of all the BAD words, how could that be one?)

Me: "Uh..."

Caden was playing nicely with legos at the table.

"F&#@? What is F&#@?"

Me: "..."

Charlotte: " So if someone says F&#@ is that bad?"

Me: "um, yes. Yes its a bad word and we shouldn't say it. But you didn't know that. Whoever you heard that from shouldn't say it. You know, there are a lot of bad words out there and thats probably the worst one, so lets not say it, mkay?"

Caden: "So, if a big boy says F&#@ we can say it right, we can tell you they said F&#@."

Me: "well, lets not say it at all, okay? If someone says it, you can tell me they said the "F-Word" ok?"

Charlotte meanwhile is crying because she thinks she is in trouble.

Caden: "What is the  F..f..F-word? What does that mean?"

Me: "Its what we can say instead of the other word I just said we shouldnt say."

Caden: " Ok. We shouldnt say F&#@.. We should say The F-Word."

Charlotte ( whispering) : "What if they say F&#@ing heck. We shouldn't say that either right? Because thats a bad word too."

Me: "Uh..Yep."

Caden:" Lets say The F-word."

Me: "Ok lets not say The F word. Lets just not say anything, ok? Dont say it anywhere. I love you. Don't say anything."