Dear Zoey (Letter #4)

Dear Zoey,

I haven't been able to stop myself from thinking about you these last few days. There is that feeling again of someone missing. I have to count everyone, and they are all here, but still someone is not. It's an uneasy feeling. The first few times I felt that way, it was a little scary, until I figured out it was you.

Charlotte is growing impatient for you. She wants to know when you will be here. She wants me to make you dresses, and buy you babies and shoes and candy.

We are getting ready to plant the garden. The seeds make me think of you- how they start in the soil that is the only place they have ever known, until one day they are moved and replanted somewhere else. Will they handle it well? Will they get used to the change and grow and thrive? I'm a little nervous, I don't really know what I'm doing. But I know that it will be worth it.

The days are longer and brighter and warmer and we are playing outside more. It's beautiful here. I wonder if you will like climbing trees like Charlotte, or playing catch like Ethan, or chewing rocks like Caden. What will you think of sidewalk chalk and tents and reading books?

We are so close baby girl! So close. It's so hard to wait on other people to do their part so we can do ours. But soon we will be actually officially Waiting. I try to tell myself that that will be the easy part, when everything is out of my hands and we are only waiting for a phone call.

Sleep tight tonight, I wish I could kiss you and tuck you in myself.

Love, Mama