Dear Zoey (Letter #3)

Dear Zoey,

I've been wondering how old you will be when we get you.

I want so badly to get these papers done and sent off to your country so that we can find you. Hopefully it will be this month.My mind thinks that as long as its all finally out of our hands, maybe it will be easier to wait. For now, we wait on other people who don't have connections to you and who don't really care to get their things done so we can send it all in. We are so close.

7-11 months seems like an e-t-e-r-n-i-t-y to me. Just like it seemed so long to wait to have Ethan, or Charlotte, or Caden. For-ev-er.

Maybe it will be October and we will have you by Christmas. Maybe it will be 2012 before you come home. Oh, I wish I could scoot on into the future and see what happens!

I love you so much.

I keep thinking about you, and the longer this goes on, the less I try to guard my heart and let myself daydream. Because I know you are real, and that you will soon be here.

I think about what your skin will look like next to mine as you sleep in my arms-

what a beautiful pair we will be, mother and daughter.

I think about how I will buy matching outfits for you and Charlotte and how cute you both will look when we go shopping just us girls.

I wonder if you will be small enough to wear in a sling, and I think about tickling your little brown feet as they peek out. Or will you be walking already?

I wonder what we will have missed out on, what you will have accomplished with no one to write it down and put it in a baby book. ( we have one for you already-your Queenie gave me one for Christmas!)

These weirdos cannot wait for you to get here.They are making plans. They thank God for you already when we pray at night. You will never be bored or lonely here baby girl.

I can't wait to see you. Whether you are a tiny baby or a big girl doesn't matter at all. I just want you here.

How can it be that what I feel for you is exactly the same as how I felt for Ethan, Charlotte, and Caden before they were born? It doesn't make sense at all. That's God baby girl.

We miss you and we can't wait to meet you.

Love, mama