Thursday, March 10, 2011

A long long post about the mess...

Apparently, there is no news today about MOWA's decision whether or not they will cut back adoptions in Ethiopia by about 90%.
Since I first read of the possibility of this happening, I have to say I've been strangely peaceful. I can honestly say I have not worried one little bit about it, not been freaking out, or letting thoughts creep in about what if...what if...
I've been catching up on my bible reading and intentionally seeking out a quiet time with the Lord each day. I haven't done that in a long time, and I haven't been reading my bible much either. I guess you could call me a bad Christian,( but really, are there any "good" Christians out there? Isn't that the whole point of it all? ) I confess, I've been putting other things before my Lord, and I started feeling His nudging me to take a look at what my priorities had become. And this started repeating in my head-

"Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you."

I tried to look it up, but the verse actually reads,

"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."
James 4:8


The common theme I've come across in both the Old and New testament this week is that God was always with his people. He was always going before them, one place or another, in all kinds of crazy situations. Sometimes it was to make a way for his people, sometimes to protect them, or to provide for them what they needed at that time.
But He always went before them, the loving Father protecting His children, the Shepherd leading His flock.
I think that this is why I've been so at ease with the possibility that such a drastic change could happen just as we are getting ready to send in our Dossier. I think He has been preparing my mommy heart for these potential changes, asking me to draw near to Him and trust that He is going before us, that He has control of the situation, and that He is not surprised by any of this.
We know that Ethiopia is the place, that Zoey is there. We know that God knows who she is, and when we will get to meet her and bring her home.

Another thing I've been thinking about is the fact that the likelihood is very good that this all is happening because the demand for healthy infants is higher than the supply ( I really hate to use that word, but I can't think of an alternative). Most families request an baby girl, 0-12 months. The cause for alarm has been because some agencies were found to have been dealing unethically-placing babies that weren't truly orphans as if they were, basically trafficking children and creating black market babies.

And the thought stemming from that is -maybe God is directing our gaze to the Waiting Children.
Waiting Children are called that because they have been looked over in favor of other children. This is usually for 3 reasons-
either they are older ( about 3 years and up),
they are not labeled healthy- HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis, blindness, missing limb, cleft palate, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, etc ,
or they are part of a sibling group- A baby could be a waiting child if he/she is part of a sibling group, otherwise you will never find a healthy infant on a Waiting Child List, because there is never a shortage of people who want a healthy infant.
Adoption is not about being comfortable. Everything about this is pulling us out of our comfort zones and forcing us to trust that an Invisible God will go before us.
The paperchasing- so much private information that normally you wouldn't share with your closest family members is being shared with complete strangers who have the power to approve or deny you.
The fundraising- who likes asking for money? who likes being in a place of need? Especially for something you "didn't have to get yourself into". Sacrifice is not easy.
The waiting- on people, on papers, on the Lord's timing. We are used to a want-it-now-get-it-now-fast-food kind of life, and that just doesn't happen in the world of adoption.
Adoption is not about being comfortable.
I think alot of times, we say,
"Ok, God, you are in control, I will do this thing you ask of me, I will sacrifice and be uncomfortable and risky for you, God"
And we put our toes in the water. We wade out and remind God that we are doing this because He said so.

"We are obeying, God!" we yell over the roar of the waves.

But we are clutching our floaties all the way out. Wearing our flippers, holding our noses.

"Here we are Lord, following you!"

We make the best of our discomfort by forming a bubble from what we think we still have a hold on, what control we fool ourselves into believing is ours to exercise.

Maybe God is drawing our attention to the hundreds of thousands of children who have been passed over as unacceptable, and asking us to break that bubble and truly trust that He is the Father of those children too.
I believe satan wants those children to remain waiting...until they age out and become unadoptable. He does not want adoption to happen because adoption of children into families reflects God's adoption of us into His family, and satan does not want one more person to come into a saving relationship with Jesus.
I believe he perpetuates around our society the ideas that birth order is absolutely crucial to biological children's identity and emotional well being, that older children are undesirable because its just too hard to teach them a new language, get used to their already developed personalities, handle discipline issues, food preferences, schooling, behavioral faults, and emotional baggage; that medical needs are just too hard and too much an investment of our time and hard earned money, and that sibling groups are too much at one time.
I think the Christian society has bought into those suggestions instead of looking at who the Almighty God is and what He is in the business of- making families, uniting the lost and broken and folding them into the flock, miracles.
But we want to be comfortable.
We don't want to risk vulnerability. We want the bare minimum of sacrifice.
And that , I believe, is why there are Waiting Children.

Only God knows what will come of this. Maybe it will end up being nothing, and things will go on as always. Maybe they really will bring things to an almost complete stop. Maybe more families will open their homes to Waiting Children. Maybe not.

It's all to the glory of God.


  1. Amen.

    As a mom who brought home 6 year old twin boys 9 months ago I am the waiting children's biggest advocate! I have been wanting to write a post for awhile now about the waiting lists that exist in adoption (both international and domestic) and about how it's not about finding children for families, but families for the children who are already waiting. I haven't done it yet, but maybe I will soon! The uproar about this has kind of made me sick to my we are entitled to healthy infants and because we're Americans and we always know best that we can just sign a petition and push other countries around. Blah. Sorry to vent on your blog, I guess I should do that on my own, huh?

  2. No worries! Im surprised someone actually read all that!

  3. I read it and I think sibling group...hmmm...just thinkin'....

  4. I think Queen E. Has a great thought:)