Peace is something I have been struggling with lately. Since Caden was born, the other kids have been having a hard time adjusting. They are getting better, though, learning that he is a permanent fixture in our house now. Charlotte is equal parts doting mother hen and attention hog. She is ever bringing him toys, blankets, diapers, and is constantly trying out new holds on him that resemble professional wrestlers or those snakes that wrap around the mice, strangling the very last breath out of their bodies.
I've learned that silence is something to be feared.
Ethan is struggling with finding his place I think. He wants to be the big boy, the helper, but he doesn't usually like to do things he doesn't want to do and so he finds himself in trouble. Alot. He asked me the other day why he gets so many spankings. It just about broke my heart when he asked me if i still loved him.
So lately Ive found myself on my knees. My heart had been heavy with a desperation to be a happy, loving mom and wife, the kind of woman Proverbs 31 exalts. I didnt want to be the nagging, critical, harried person I felt had crept inside of me and taken over, bringing others down with her negativity.
Isnt it funny how the longer you stay out of God's Word, the more unChrist-like you become? Clever God we have isnt he?
And it is just like Him to answer our prayers when we are humbled before Him. He is gracious and merciful, loving, and kind. He lifts up those who cry out to him, and helps the afflicted.
Even little old me who is just a stay at home mom who sometimes lets things overwhelm her. I feel like the psalmist who wrote today's Verse of the Day, just staring up in awe at the vastness of the night sky, and feeling so so small. And wondering why in the world the God who made all that would even care to make something like this. But knowing he did, and that I wasnt even an afterthought.
Peace in the heart is worth a messy house now and then. ( Did someone say that once?) I have learned in the last week to let go of the Martha and grab hold of the Mary. Some of you will know what I mean by that.
When I asked God to make me a better mom, I heard " Be a mom. " Everything that was making me feel frustrated and anxious were things around the house that took the place of things I should have been doing- reading my bible, playing with my kids, enjoying the weather with my family, talking with my husband. See, Satan is real, and he is a sneaky little devil (for lack of a better word) and he would like nothing more than to coerce God's people away from Him by convincing them that they dont need Him. That they can do everything on their own. It worked in the garden, and it worked in my house.
So that is kind of why I want to keep this site-besides keeping in touch with everyone, it keeps me accountable and in the Word, since I will post a new verse everyday. And together we can conquer the devil!! (Just kidding. You-know-who already did that.)
Oh- so I have been making a point to involve the kids in my daily activites so a)we can
spend more quality time together learning hands-on stuff and b)they can learn to clean up their own messes, 'cause I dont like doing that. (just keepin it real)
So I let Ethan sweep up his cereal he spilled this morning. He loves to help me, and I will usually let him hold the bucket while I sweep, but today he asked me if he could sweep by himself. It took almost 10 minutes because everytime he would move the broom, it would spread out the mess even more.
Then he went to empty the bucket and spilled the cereal all over the floor again.